There are times when it feels like we have no control over our lives. Like things just happen to us and there’s nothing we can do. It’s important to be aware that we always have the power to make change in our lives; but it’s also important to be aware of the things we can’t control, no matter how hard we try.

Once you start to dialog with your parts, you might start to have some more questions. Here are some suggestions to get you through the tight spots.

When my clients say they want to control their emotions, they are usually asking me to help them turn off their emotions so that they look like the second group. The second group is often baffled that they have problems since their emotions are so under control. They often see themselves simply as unemotional people, struggle to locate their emotions, and generally have their emotions as turned off as possible. This all makes sense because our culture has long devalued and misunderstood emotions, telling us that being unemotional is the goal. However, neither of these groups is regulating their emotions.