Anxiety During Cold and Flu Season
In my first post on anxiety, I painted a picture of anxiety as a potentially helpful signal that something is wrong. I suggested that anxiety is a critical part of daily functioning that we don’t want to get rid of. The goal is to keep it in balance and to pay attention to what it has to say to us. This post is a full confession that sometimes there’s more to it than that.
Sometimes we might have anxiety about an important event coming up. The anxiety tells us to take extra care with it. Prepare well. Stay alert. Give it our best. That’s a good message. When this is the case, we do our best, the event passes, and we go back to normal. Whatever has happened is over now.
However, some things have no end date. Like Covid and flu season.
If we are studying for a test or completing a project for work, it might make sense to pass up going to the movie or seeing friends for the weekend. We choose to push hard for just a few days, maybe a week. When the event is over, we go back to our regular balance. If our anxiety causes us to take that test a little too seriously, it doesn’t matter too much because there is a date when it will be over. We aren’t out of balance for very long.
Since Covid has no end date, we can end up taking Covid or other illnesses very seriously for a very long time.
When I look at anxiety, I take a step back and I look at the overall balance. If anxiety is leading you to make choices that are seriously limiting your life, there’s a good chance that the anxiety is out of balance. Anxiety isn’t meant to shut your life down. It’s designed to be one piece of your whole self, to work in cooperation with other parts of who you are so that you can meet your goals and enjoy your life. These other parts of you might be a love of nature, satisfaction in hard work, a need for rest, a longing for connection, enjoyment in reading or music, an ability to reason, a sense of commitment.
You are more than a bundle of anxiety. You are so much more than your anxiety!
Among the less popular things that I say to clients is, “We are not going to get rid of your anxiety. Instead we want to balance it with the rest of who you are.” My clients might be disappointed when I say this, but it also seems to feel right to them to hear me say this.
Imagine a see-saw. You might imagine your anxiety on one end of it. You might see the seat on that end sink to the ground immediately. What can you imagine on the other side of that see-saw? Is it the importance you place on staying connected with other people? Is it your dedication to your work? What if it’s all of these things? Can you imagine that see-saw coming to balance in the middle?
Keeping this see-saw in mind can help you move through your day. Perhaps you are worried about going out. You can acknowledge that yes, that is a concern. You’ve got that concern covered on one end of the see-saw. Protecting yourself may be one of your values. Then bring yourself back to what’s on the other end of the see-saw. What are your values there? Family, friends, work, freedom, exercise, nature, and more. How can you give those pieces of yourself a little more weight?
The goal is not to get rid of the anxiety. It is an essential part of who we are as humans. The goal is to live with some balance. What brings you into balance?