What is Dissociation?

Simply put, dissociation is “checking out.”  It means that you are less present, less aware of what’s going on around you.

Dissociation is just one of the many, marvelous ways that your physical self protects you from fully experiencing the world around you when things feel too intense or unsafe.    Like many of the ways we protect ourselves (seatbelts, masks, full suit of armor), this “protection” can get in the way sometimes.  Dissociation is a fabulous way to protect ourselves when we absolutely cannot escape or protect ourselves any other way, like in the last moment before a car crash, after a serious accident before we have medical attention, or (much more commonly) because we are children in an overwhelming environment and can’t escape.

Everyone dissociates every day.
Yet there is a wide range of how often and how strongly people dissociate.  You can think of it as a spectrum.  On one end, there is the checking out that everyone does every day.  At the far other end, there is DID—dissociative identity disorder.

Everyone:

• “Space out” for just a moment and miss a sentence or a phrase of what someone has said to you.

• Lose track of time occasionally when doing something you really enjoy.

• Drive home on “autopilot.”

• Forget why you went upstairs.

• Forget the name of someone you’ve only met once or twice.

• Have trouble remembering what year something happened.

• Behave just a bit differently at work, at home, with friends

Here is a list of things people might experience if they have stronger dissociation.  If a few of these are true for you, it might be really uncomfortable and you might want support.

• Regularly skip meals/don’t notice hunger

• Can’t remember parts of your day.

• Can’t feel parts of your body sometimes

• Tingling in your limbs, hands, or feet

• Foggy brain

• Forget large chunks of information

• Have a sense that life isn’t real

• See yourself from outside of your body

• Feel like it’s not you when you look in the mirror

• Find things that you don’t remember buying

• Feel like you are a different person in different settings

• Lose things all the time

• Hear other voices or thoughts in your head

• Might not have any memory of abuse.

• Have tried psychiatric medications and they don’t help

• Notice sudden emotions that don’t seem to fit the situation

• Feel like you’re arguing with yourself often

• Can function very well in specific settings, like work

• No memory for important life events like a wedding

• Persistent suicidal thoughts

Sometimes people who dissociate are misdiagnosed with

• ADHD

• A learning disability

• Schizophrenia

• Psychosis

Bipolar Disorder (your shifts might be more sudden and frequent than bipolar disorder)

It is possible to have dissociation AND another diagnosis, but for some people, dissociation is a better explanation for what they’re experiencing.

It’s quite common for people who dissociate to also have other symptoms and diagnoses related to trauma such as

• Anxiety

• Depression

• PTSD

• Complex PTSD

Is Dissociation Bad?

No, it’s not bad.  Dissociation is a healthy, protective biological, neurological response to an overwhelming situation.  It helped you get this far.  If dissociating is a strong pattern for you, that happened for a reason.  The trouble is that dissociation can become a stuck pattern.  Once stuck in that pattern, it can be hard for the system to recognize that life might be safer now.  It might be okay and feel a lot nicer to stay more present.  In fact, if you have children, they need you to be fully present sometimes.

If you are stuck, automatically dissociating, we can address that.  We can help your whole system become better able to stay present and better able to make choices about dissociating.

What about DID—Dissociative Identity Disorder?

Some movies have made this diagnosis look scary and rare.  The fact is that there are many people who have DID who are highly competent, accomplished individuals who look and act just like anyone else.  Since DID is kind of about hiding inside of one’s self, it can take several months for a counsellor to recognize it.  The treatment for DID is essentially the same as treatment for other degrees of dissociation.  The goals you choose and the length of time it takes to reach those goals might be different with DID.